get your bowl on

i'll admit it - my reaction when seeing the words "department outing" on the meeting invitation was to let out a little sigh.  no, little whimper is more like it.  it's not like i don't like the people i work with - i think they're great.  i just haven't fully developed into one of those people who can just make small talk and be the life of the party yet.  i'm working on it.  i hesitated as i pushed the "accept" button.  i don't think you're actually given a choice there - if you don't go to the department outing you are considered to be a social deviant and you will probably not have your job a year from now.  but i guess i was considering the pros and cons of the situation.

pros:
you do not have to work for the afternoon
free lunch
you get to leave work early

cons:
you have to talk to people you barely know for 3-4 hours

obviously there are more pros than cons in the lists above.  however, the weight afforded to the cons makes the two categories almost equal.  let's just say that i have a crippling fear of slight aversion to talking to people i barely know.  i'm pretty much an idiot and i say the wrong thing all the time.
but in the end i decided that it would be worth it to keep my job and get out of work three hours early.
we went to this place that was (for lack of a better description) embarrassing to stand in.  the alley had been recently remodeled to be some sort of upscale "club" or something.  there were a lot of swankiness attempts, but it just felt wrong.  just because you have new carpet and a full service bar doesn't mean you're not a bowling alley.  and what's with the manager wearing an eighties suit (complete with mock turtleneck)?  the atmosphere of the alley only compounded the awkwardness i was already feeling just being around all those people.  i had a mantra going in my head "you only have to do this for three hours...then you get an afternoon all to yourself...three hours...you can do this".
i managed to make some small talk with a few members of my team (randomly assigned) and even ventured over to the lane beside me, where a girl from my row of cubicles was bowling.  i talked about basketball (everyone watches the ncaa tournament, right?) and the weather.  i was no social butterfly, but i endured it.

and then, even though we got to leave early, i was still stuck in traffic on the way home.

the wait is kill.ing. me.

run in with the boss's boss's boss's boss

yesterday i decided to leave work a little early so i could go home to catch up on some apartment cleaning that i have been putting off for a little too long.  i kept debating the appropriate departure time internally and finally decided that 3 pm was an okay time to leave.  see, i'm not even assigned to a client right now and i'm not technically required to be doing anything right now, so what's the harm in leavingi a little early?  especially when leaving early, cleaning my apartment, and getting my life in order is only intended to make me a happier person....and therefore a happier employee.

well, when i decided to leave it was actually only about 2:15.  i packed up my stuff as quietly as possible and darted for the stairs.  i'm on the 12th floor, but i'm deathly afraid of being seen getting on the elevators to go home at only 2:15.  i went down 2 floors, to the 10th, then pushed the "down" arrow to take the elevator the rest of the way down.  lo-and-behold, who was on the elevator?  none other than the boss's boss's boss's boss.  THE most important person in this building.  and here i was, bags packed, empty lunch bag in hand.  uuuughhhh this is awkward.

so i tried to act cool.  when he asked "so, what are you up to today?" i pointed to the portfolio folder thingie i was carrying and said "oh, you know.  client stuff".  and he pried, asking what client i was on and who was my boss.  oh, it was terrible.  i wanted to die RIGHT THERE.

on the way home, i festered.  i had lost all motivation to actually do any cleaning.  i wanted to go home and lie in bed in the darkness until the humiliation went away.

but by the time i got some starburst jelly beans i was in the cleaning mood again.  damned if HE is going to ruin my day (except he really did kind of ruin any feeling of self-worth that i had been building up over the past few months).

christmas time is here

Since Laura blogged, I figured it was only proper that I update too.  

The government audit I was on finished up about three weeks ago.  It feels like a lifetime ago.  I have been sitting around in the office or at home, doing nothing really, but getting paid for it.  And I love that.  I have four weeks of bliss in exchange for three or four months of hell.  Not a bad deal, I suppose.  I start at a new client in January and I'm kind of nervous about it.  The client has a bad reputation for not caring about anything, and there are a couple of team members I'm not too excited about.  Plus, I don't really know anyone on my team and can say I've probably never even heard the names of most of them.  But it's always hard starting something new.  Hopefully in a few months I'll be able to call some of these people my friends, or if nothing else, my "work friends".  

I'm going home next week.  I think we are leaving Monday after work.  It changes depending on my sister's mood.  I'm looking forward to hanging out with my family for a week and just not working or thinking. 

In keeping with holiday tradition, I have once again baked more cookies than I know what to do with.  I come home from work at a reasonable time these days, and since I have nothing else to do, I just decide to bake another batch of cookies.  They're spilling out of my freezer to the point where I have to start getting rid of my frozen vegetables/other freezer items that have piled up over the years.  It's like I imagine giving trays of cookies to all of my friends...but when the time comes, OOPS I don't have any friends.  So once again Andy will probably have to eat most of the cookies.  

I got new glasses.  I've been having headaches more than usual, and decided that I'd rather have my eyes checked than get the teeth grinding issue resolved.  Hopefully with the new glasses I'll only get headaches half as much.  But we shall see.  

I've been thinking about going back to school for my MBA.  It's a tough decision, though.  It's so expensive, and I don't know how much money it will make me in the long run.  I think it would probably be more profitable for me to just take on another client or something here and work my way up the ladder.  But I think personally I would find more satisfaction in going back to school.  First I'll have to decide where I want to go to school (my top choice is $100k--hoooooly) and then I have to take the GMAT.  Which means studying for the GMAT then filling out those dreaded college applications.  It will take a lot of effort on my part, and I just don't know whether I'm up to it right now.  

I'm going to make a new year's resolution this year.  My resolution is that I will try harder to keep a clean apartment.  This year I wanted to focus on keeping a clean kitchen, which I have been doing pretty well lately.  I have consistently done the dishes before going to bed, and have wiped down the counters after almost every meal/cookie/whatever preparation.  It's time that I grow up and start cleaning up the whole apartment, though.  If it doesn't happen soon, my children will be living in piles of dirty laundry and dust bunnies, and I don't want that.